Escaping into the world of fantasy books and writing was Destiny Murtaugh’s way of leaving a dark world of bullying and loneliness. But those days are over, and now she’s standing in a marvelous light.
Growing Up
Destiny Murtaugh was small, struggling to fit into a booster seat as a youngster and remained tiny well into the fifth grade. But being smaller at the time didn’t shield her from harsh words and snooty looks. Prior to any weight gain, Murtaugh noticed she was different from her peers. “I was never considered conventionally attractive to my classmates,” says Murtaugh. As puberty set in and her body changed, the teasing continued. “As I gained weight, I was bullied a lot by the girls and the boys in my class,” says Murtaugh. “Girls that age can be petty … especially if they want attention from the boys.”
So Murtaugh retreated into activities that brought joy — being active in Girl Guides (the Canadian version of Girl Scouts), reading preteen fiction, and writing. “This was all at a time when I was trying to figure out who I was a person,” she says. “Your body is constantly changing at that age.” Murtaugh says bullying, combined with insensitive class activities, made her early school years incredibly challenging. “I remember being in high school in a fitness class and teachers were measuring our body fat percentage in front of the entire class,” says Murtaugh. “It’s just so wild that that was something that we did back then as if teenagers aren't insecure enough!”
Murtaugh noted school was tough, but sometimes so was home. “My family meant well, but they grew up in a time where skinny meant healthy,” says Murtaugh. “I heard the way my mom would talk about her body and make comments, and you can’t help but internalize some of those comments.”
One summer, Murtaugh says she gained 80 pounds from taking a new migraine medication. “Here I am, a preteen, gaining all this weight, and I’m already super nerdy and an avid reader,” she says. “I felt like I had so much stacked against me.”
Look at Me Now
The days would look up for Murtaugh when she went outside of her small hometown to college. It was there that she would see more people of diverse backgrounds and body sizes. “I really think stepping outside of my comfort zone helped me gain more perspective and confidence,” she says. Lifted by the energy of a new environment, Murtaugh started a social media page focused on her love of books, then one to amplify her writing passion, and now one dedicated to fashion, beauty, and life for women in larger bodies. “When I was young, I didn’t see people like myself,” says Murtaugh. “I was thrilled when I started seeing people my size who were posting about things more than just weight loss and dieting!”
Murtaugh has pushed the lines of what society has considered acceptable for larger-bodied women. She’s posted everything from dance videos and product reviews to wearing her first denim mini skirt and a bikini. Today, Murtaugh has more than 10,000 followers on her Instagram page and has continued her career as a writer.
Reclaiming the Word
Murtaugh has a lot to say and do about the word “fat.” She’s reclaiming it and changing the narrative from a negative adjective to something positive. “For a while, I had a page called 'The Fat Author,’” says Murtaugh. “A lot of people told me I couldn’t use that word, but I wanted to rebrand it and reclaim a word that had been hurled at me for years.” Murtaugh built up an opinionated following — some who appreciated her quest, others who felt uncomfortable, and still some who are downright mean. “I really wanted to shift the word from something bad that means ugly and unlovable to something beautiful. I didn’t want to give the word power to hurt me anymore.” She still prefers the term fat over plus-sized or big.
What started as a way to find belonging and friends (even imaginary) led to Murtaugh’s sustained interest in reading and writing fantasy. “I was eager for community, and I didn’t see many who looked like me when I was first online,” she says. “I definitely didn’t see imagery on TV or on book covers.” But Murtaugh hopes to change all that through her platform.
Now, her eyes are set now in writing romance with plus-sized characters. “I want to show that plus-sized people have full lives,” she says. “I’m a lot of things — a writer, a [Taylor] Swiftie, I even joined a sorority in college — something I never thought I could do.”
Learning and Unlearning
It’s been years since Murtaugh was in school, but her learning — and unlearning, for that matter — has continued. “I think I unlearned pretty much every weight-based and diet culture belief like skinny is healthy, fat is bad,” she says. “I also had to unlearn my relationship with food.” Murtaugh describes a family like many, where good grades and winning games earned a trip to Dairy Queen. “I realized that I would eat when I’m happy, sad or, celebrating,” she says.
The list of lessons has also grown over the years. “I’ve learned that you don’t have to finish where you start, the importance of putting up boundaries, and to have more confidence in myself.”
She wishes the same for others who may be where she was as a preteen, questioning their worth. “You have one life to live, and you want to be able to be OK with yourself. You want to live according to what makes you happy.”
